Xiomerans love buffets.
This is an odd cultural fact that stands out when it comes to countries and their culinary preferences. This stands out even for the casual observer of Xiomeran culture. After all, food is very important to Xiomerans both as a symbol of their culture and as a major cornerstone of Xiomeran traditions. Whenever Xiomerans gather, food and drink are almost always part of the gathering. It’s not as if Xiomera is bereft of distinction when it comes to cuisine, either. Anyone who has had a well-prepared plate of Chicken Oxtotlan, the country’s signature dish, comes to appreciate that Xiomeran cuisine, much like Xiomeran society and culture, consists of complex and deeply interwoven threads that tell a story.
And yet, Xiomerans love buffets, those hallmarks of mass consumption and mediocre distinction. The casual observer of Xiomera always finds that confusing. The person who looks deeper, however, gets it. Buffets are places where you can get whatever you want, as much as you want, whenever and wherever you want it. If that doesn’t sum up an Imperial mindset, I don’t know what does.
And that is, after all, what successive generations of Xiomeran rulers have sold their people as their birthright. Unending affluence, unlimited abundance, and unrestricted desire have become as Xiomeran as a mācuahuitl or a temple to Huītzilōpōchtli. So it ultimately comes as little surprise that buffets have become a popular way for Xiomerans to celebrate their, well, Xiomeran-ness.
The most popular buffet-style restaurant chain in Xiomera is called Necuiltonolli. Its name is literally the Huenyan-language word for “abundance”. And Xiomerans dutifully file into their local outpost of Necuiltonolli every Sunday, as a day to celebrate their affluence before going back to work the following Monday to be good little cogs in the Xiomeran corporate-industrial machine that gives them that affluence.
Ever since Empress Calhualyana and the XCP came to power, a new ritual has attached itself to this cultural practice. Every Sunday, Xiomeran politicians and corporate leaders will find themselves at Necuiltonolli, eating alongside their fellow Xiomerans. Normally, such high-ranking personages would disdain rubbing shoulders with everyday Xiomerans, and would rather eat dog food than the “normal” food that their lessers enjoy. But it is a central argument of the XCP, and the cult of the Empress, that they are “of the people”. So, at least one day of the week, for a few hours, the grandees of Xiomera have to act as if they really are of the people to maintain their legitimacy.
Even the Empress herself, along with other top dogs like her husband Xiyāōtl and Prime Minister Toquihu, will sometimes make an appearance at a Necuiltonolli somewhere in the country. The whole ritual is supposed to come as a complete surprise to whatever location is blessed with the presence of the Empress and her entourage, and is as theatrically staged as a long-running play. The Empress doesn’t show up at some buffet place in Middleofnowhere-cuetzla because she prefers the food at Necuiltonolli to the fare at, say, the Palace of Flowers. But even as powerful as she is, Calhualyana has to play the game. She has to press the flesh, kiss the babies, and choke down the vague impression of food that Necuiltonolli has served up that day. It’s her way of saying “how do you do, fellow Xiomerans? I’m just like you!”
It also serves as a boon to Necuiltonolli and the massive corporation that owns it, Xicohtencatl Culinary Enterprises. After all, it’s hard to beat “Eat where the Empress eats!” as a sales pitch. (It’s also safe to say that at least some of Necuiltonolli’s profits make their way back into the pockets of Calhualyana, Toquihu and the rest of the XCP as “political donations” and the like, so everyone wins!)
But anyone who isn’t part of the cult of Empire knows damn well that Calhualyana hates every second she is at Necuiltonolli. She hates every bite of bland, industrial buffet food she has to choke down. She hates having to shake peoples’ hands. And even though she has two babies of her own, she probably isn’t a fan of babies either. So why does she do it? It’s not like she needs Necuiltonolli’s money. Calhualyana and the XCP have unrestricted access to all the coffers of one of the wealthiest countries the world has ever seen. They’re not hurting for money by anyone’s measure. So why?
The “why” is simple: Xiomera is a land built on illusions. The idea of Xiomera as the unending buffet of everything has been sold so hard to Xiomerans that losing that illusion would quite literally lead to the collapse of the entire house of cards that is the Empire. So, even beyond their pretensions of being “of the people” and their self-serving populism, Calhualyana and the XCP have to feed the illusion. They don’t dare not to. If Calhualyana and the XCP can’t keep Xiomera’s own sales pitch as a land of endless power and affluence up to those same everyday Xiomerans they force themselves to sit next to once a week for a meal, the jig would be up. And the Empress and her minions know it.
It is an illusion that, for all their menace and swagger, that the Xiomeran Empire is finding it increasingly hard to maintain. Since the coup that unseated Yauhmi as Empress, and the civil war that followed it, only everyday Xiomerans can’t see that Xiomera isn’t what it once was. Even with all the aggression and expansion that has taken place since Calhualyana took power, the Xiomeran Empire is still half of what it once was. Half the population, half the territory, half the prestige, half the power. As other nations increasingly see Xiomera as the state in headlong decline that it really is, Calhualyana and her spin masters have to work increasingly frantically both at home and abroad to maintain the falsehood that Xiomera is still a great power. Xiomera is still an economic and military powerhouse, to be sure. But so are at least half a dozen other nations who are just as powerful as the Empire, if not more so. The rule of the late and unlamented Xochiuhue transformed Xiomera from a superpower into “just another country”. And if there’s anything Xiomerans aren’t used to, it’s being just like everyone else.
So, Xiomerans will continue to keep their eyes closed to reality (not that it would make any difference if they opened their eyes, given the stranglehold the XCP and the Ministry of Information have over Xiomeran media). Calhualyana and her minions will continue to join their “everyday” peers in the ritual of Empire. What I wonder is, what will happen when the illusion finally fails and Xiomerans realize their little country isn’t the center of anyone’s universe anymore? When Xiomerans realize no one is scared of the Empire anymore, and when the abundance ends, what comes next?
-Bobby Bell is a political and social commentator with DTNS, specializing on nations in Caxcana.
